Tough pill to swallow

After a month of waiting, we finally got the call. The bank did not accept the offer made on our house. It's a difficult situation to explain, but basically we are back at square one. In some ways, we are farther back than ever before. It was truly a painful blow, and Chris and I are both struggling.

We both know and believe than God is in control. We know that He is not surprised by any of this. We know that His will is always for our good. We know that we are in the center of His will. We know that He loves us. We know that He has not abandoned us. We know whom we have believed and are persuaded that He is able to keep that which we've committed to Him until that day. The house is no exclusion. Our retirement fund (or what used to be our retirement fund) is no exclusion. Our dreams, goals, desires, and plans are no exclusion.

Our pastor the other day said this, "Faith is believing in advance what you can only see in reverse." THIS is what faith is all about. Although I don't feel like having faith, and I don't feel like trusting, I have to believe TODAY that one day all of this will make perfectly good sense. My human nature wants to kick and scream and pout...but that would be acting way too much like a 3year old throwing a temper tantrum. Chris and I must both relax in our Father's arms. His love is so pure and so genuine that it would be impossible for Him to work anything against us. This, too, will make us more like Him. Even this can be used to bring Him glory.

If you are reading this, I simply ask that you pray for us. Our emotions (which can change like the waves of the ocean) are trying to dictate our faith. Pray that the joy of the Lord would be our strength. Pray that our brokenness would be as incense before the Lord...just pray.

Thank you, Lord, that you are good...all the time....yesterday, today, and forever. I confess being double-minded and unstable in my ways. I am sorry that I ever doubt you. You are Lord above all....thank you, Jesus, thank you...