Well, the next morning I was just dying to hear from Marybeth. Although we had communicated through texts all night, I just needed to hear her voice. She had spent the night away, so I wanted to hear from her own little voice how much fun she had. I wanted to hear the joy and the excitement that comes from getting to experience such a wonderful night. I wanted to hear her say that it was worth every penny spent. I wanted to know that we had successfully blessed them with everything they needed for a wonderful prom night.
So I called her...straight to her voicemail. No big deal. I get that all the time...I text "Call me when you can." She responded via text, "mommmmm, you know I hate talking on the phone..." I won't go into details as to what I said in response to that...let's just say I went into passive aggressive mode. My feelings were hurt. I felt so rejected. I felt so unappreciated. I felt unloved....Maybe I was being overly sensitive. Maybe I over-reacted. I just felt like speaking to me over the phone was the least she could do....but bottom line was I just wanted to hear her voice. I wanted her to want to connect with me more than anyone else in the world. I'm her MOM...I love her more than any friend or boyfriend could possibly love her. I crave that closeness we used to have when I WAS her everything. I know, I know...this is part of growing up; she's supposed to sprout wings and learn to fly on her own. And I want her to grow...but I also want her to always know how much I love her, and I will always crave her love and affection.
And then God spoke to me...."Child, don't you see the parallels?" He loves me, and He craves time with me. He has blessed me with so many great things...actually He has given me everything I need to have a wonderful life. All He wants is to hear my voice...He wants to hear me say "thank you"...He wants to hear the joy and satisfaction in my voice as I tell Him how grateful I am for all that he has done for me. Instead of me running to my family or my friends, He wants me to run to Him. He wants to be #1 in my life. So today, I sit in front of my computer with my eyes and my heart opened up to my Lord and Savior for all that He has done for me! I thank Him for loving me so unconditionally. I am sorry for all the times I have told Him that I didn't have time to pray or didn't feel like praying. I'm sorry for ever thinking, "Goddddddd, you know I love you and thank you, but I really don't feel like praying right now....I'm too busy doing life!" Today I am more aware of how grateful I am that He pursues me, and He whispers lessons into my life because He desires me. What an awesome feeling to know I am loved and desired by my creator, the King of this universe!
Our spouse teaches us so much about how to be "the bride of Christ." The lessons there are innumerable. Our children teach us so much about being "a child of God." My prayer is that we all stay teachable. May He daily mold us more and more into His image!