Out of nowhere...a refining fire

Sometimes we are well aware of the fact that God is using a particular person or situation in our life to refine us and smooth off some of our rough edges. Even as believers, we may lose our temper, act ugly, suffer jealousy, and other kinds of fleshly desires that make us spiritually uncomfortable, so most Christ followers are willing, and maybe even eager, to endure the refinement to come out cleaner and more like Christ. Sometimes, however, we are caught off guard, not particularly struggling in any specific area and not looking for a life lesson, and that's when God speaks louder than ever. This is where we have been in the last week...not looking for a lesson...just doing life...making right choices...being "good boys and girls"...but as we well know, "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7). In the middle of just an ordinary day, God showed up with His refiner's fire...and it was good!

Without going into too many details, I felt that my husband was wrongfully judged and criticised this week, and it stirred in both of us very unexpected emotions. An ungodly attitude and spirit was deep within us, and God knew that it was time for us to go through His refining fire. Over the next few days, He spoke to us through His Word and through people to open our spiritual eyes...there were more lessons in this one situation than I ever imagined.

After the dust settled and I had somewhat calmed down, I decided to quit fighting and look to the Scriptures for guidance and correction. A small verse on the bathroom wall at school reminded me that I might need to start at Psalm 51:10, "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." I knew that my heart was not pure...in reality, that's probably where I need to start MOST of my refinements...in my heart! The Lord then led me over to Matthew 6 because I could not shake the word "persecuted" from my mind. In Matthew 6:11-12 it says, "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad...for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." I realized that I had never really had an appreciation for this verse simply because I had never experienced any type of "persecution" for doing what was right. Now I felt that Chris was being attacked when he had just done what his boss had told him to do...he was being persecuted for being obedient. My spiritual eyes were opening...and God kept speaking.

From a recent conversation with a very godly lady in my life, I remembered there was something in 1 Peter about humbling ourselves under God's mighty hand and, in due time, he would lift us up. I liked the idea of "being lifted up" and this situation felt pretty humbling, so I moved on to 1 Peter. That's where God took me to a whole new understanding. As I casually flipped and read through 1 Peter 2, I read things like "Live such good lives...that, though they may accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day He visits us" (verse 12) and then in verse 20-22 Peter talks about being called to following in Christ's steps and suffering without sinning. As I read on, verse 23 hit me right between the eyes! It says, "When they hurled their insults at him (Jesus), he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly." I had NEVER thought about how Jesus must have felt when people were persecuting him, insulting him, and accusing him of lies, crimes, and poor judgement calls. Never once did he retaliate...never once did he say, "I'm done with you sinners. I'm trying to give you eternal salvation, and this is how you treat me...I'll move on to someone who is nicer and more receptive than you...I don't deserve this type of treatment." That's what I would have said...I guess that's why he is Jesus and I'm not :)!!!Jesus was obediently doing the work of his Father, and the people were "shooting the messenger" of salvation. In Hebrew 4:15-16 the Bible says that we do not have a high priest who cannot understand all of our trials, temptations, emotions. He was tempted in every way, but He was without sin. He endured those trials so that we could "approach the throne of grace with confidence... [and] receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Jesus had been there, so he totally understood our feelings, frustrations, and emotions. His calling for us, however, was to approach His throne to find His mercy and grace in this time of need so that others might glorify Him as well!

In one last attempt to rationalize my anger, I said to Chris, "But what about the time Jesus got angry in the temple and threw a little fit? Isn't there such a thing as 'righteous anger'?" Chris's answer was yes, Jesus did get angry, and yes, he did throw a little fit...the difference was that his anger was not about how the people were treating him...it was about how they were treating his Father and his Father's House...BIG DIFFERENCE!!! Going forward, my question to myself, my husband, kids, family, and friends will be, "What is the motive behind my anger? Am I wanting to retaliate because I have been wronged or because my Father has been wronged? Am I willing to suffer for doing the right thing, or am I more concerned with my own rights and personal comforts? Blessings come through obedience...do I want to be seen as right in my own eyes, or do I want to be seen as righteous in God's eyes?"

Thank you, Lord, for opening my spiritual eyes. I don't ever want to pass up on the opportunity to be refined to be more like you. An old praise song we used to sing went like this, "Lord, I want to be more like you. Lord, I want to be more like you. I want to be a vessel you work through; Lord, I want to be more like you." Praise to Jesus. Amen and amen