me: "Well God, it seems that this house thing is coming to an end, but I've gotta tell you...I don't like it. There are so many things I don't like about it...I wanted a sell, a victory, a wonderfully huge story to tell of your awesome greatness. This is nothing...no glitz, no ooh's and aahs...actually it's just a bunch of "I'm so sorry's". Lord, we left everything to follow You. I remember praying on that very day Chris decided to go to school. You spoke to me and said, "Let me show out. Let me do it My way." What happened? It seems like you haven't done anything, and it seems like you've forgotten about us. I know Your thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and Your ways are higher than our ways, so please help me understand just a little of what Your plan has been in this whole situation. I HAVE to believe You are still in control. I MUST confess Your goodness...not because I feel like it, but because it is TRUTH. Truth never changes!
God: I did promise you those things, and I have done it my way. I HAVE shown out...maybe you thought I meant that my showing out would be in the sell of the house. Actually, I meant that I would show out in ways that you would never even know to ask for. Think about all the times you have gone to the mailbox and found a check or two or three from people who you barely know. People have provided you money, food, clothes, and more. Most people never experience those kinds of generous outpourings. That was Me..."showing out." I have provided you with a wonderful marriage, precious, healthy children, a great job, a holy church, awesome friends...I have met all of your needs in every way. In addition to all of that, I have taken care of the house 'my way.'
I could have sold the house in one day. I could have arranged for you a huge financial gain. I think that is what you expected...that was not my way though. The reason you expected that was because that's the way the world operates. I knew that even if I had answered your prayers for a quick, profitable sell, and even if you had given Me all of the praise, the world would have praised the sell...not the seller (Me). It also would have looked like following Me was an easy road with no problems along the way...as you now know, the costs of being my disciple are high (but worth it all!!)
me: But Lord, what about draining our 401K? Why? Couldn't we have avoided that painful reality? It's also kind of embarrassing...we know that there are people everywhere that think we are absolutely stupid for making such an "irresponsible" choice to just up and leave it all without tying up the loose ends. On top of feeling defeated, we feel embarrassed...crazy...stupid. What's the lesson in all of that?
God: One of the very first Sundays you were at Eagle's View Church, I made sure that Bart spoke of Me not caring about the amount in your retirement fund. I don't need retirement funds to provide for my children...you have seen that I didn't need Chris's income to care for you all this year, right? While I do believe that making wise financial choices is important, I needed you to see that I do not NEED anything from you except your absolute love and devotion.
I also needed you to realize that completely following Me for the rest of your life will often put you in situations where you do look different...crazy...and maybe even "stupid" in the world's eyes. I needed you to see if you believed it was worth it. Does is matter to you more what the world thinks or what I think? Are you completely willing to live a life set apart for Me? The stakes are high...the road is long...but the rewards for this present life and for eternity far outweigh the costs.
me: What can I say, but wow...thank you, Lord. Please give me continued strength and courage to live a life sold out for You...You alone can satisfy my thirsty soul.
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