He's not finished with us yet...

Just a couple of pictures from our snow this winter...so much fun!!!


There has been a lesson that the Lord has been trying to teach us for the last 4 or 5 years, but unfortunately, we have been slow learners. I recently realized what has been happening during these past several years as I read Larry Crabb's 66 Love Letters . It was as though God spoke directly to me, "Amanda, I have been more concerned with your holiness than your happiness. You and Chris have been trying to fit me into your plans...it doesn't work that way. You told me back in 2005 that you were ready to go that next level with me. At that point, I began detaching from you the things in life that were numbing your sacred hunger for Me. I meant business. I don't play games...there's too much at stake. I love you too much to leave you the way you are...you do, however, have to be willing to suffer My refining fire if you truly want to be polished to reflect more of Me."

As I share with you some embarrassing highlights (or low-lights!!) from our life, I hope that you are encouraged to ask the Lord to take you to that "next level" in your relationships with the Him as well....

I don't remember this being a problem for me in high school, but some time in college I became aware of and drawn to the very beautiful and finer things in life. I am not sure why this took place in college. Maybe it was the big, beautiful sorority house that I lived in, or it might have been the pretty, wealthy people that I was surrounded by on a daily basis. I began to want more than I had ever had. I wanted to BE somebody. I wanted to finish college, marry someone rich, live in a big house, drive a nice car, belong to the finest country club, have the most perfect, beautiful children, and NEVER have any problems in life. I laugh even as I type that...how young, naive, and dumb was I!?!
It's funny though...as the Lord saw fit, I got a lot of what I asked for. Now Chris sure wasn't RICH when I married him, but he had the same goals in mind, and he was willing to work hard to achieve those goals. Also (it's embarrassing to admit this), we had a country club membership before we could afford to buy our first house...talk about mixed-up priorities!!! Eventually our houses, cars, and even our family got bigger and better through the years, and life was really good.
When God knew we had had enough of what we had asked for, He allowed us to go through some dark, stormy days to give us what we really needed for true happiness. There were unexpected job losses (yes...plural), moves to a new states (yes...plural again!),and very long, lonely days. There have been three moves: Olive Branch, MS., Oxford, MS., and Saginaw, TX. Each move has served its purpose in the bigger picture of God taking us to that next level with Him. One thing I have appreciated, however, in this process has been the way that the Lord has very gradually weaned us from old addictions and desires. For instance, golf was a very high priority for Chris, and a nice swim club was a must-have for me and the kids. God's gradual approach in this area went like this: Chris went from playing golf several times a week at the NorthRiver Yacht Club... down to a couple of times a week at the Olive Branch Country Club... down to once a week at the Ole Miss Golf Course... down to an occasional splurge at the public course that gives students a discounted rate of $11 for 18 holes :)! The kids and I have swam at various pools throughout these golf-club changes...each one a little less "fancy" than the one before. This summer we will be swimming and playing at the local YMCA (which is actually really nice), but this is only possible thanks to a scholarship program given to those who qualify for financial assistance. Ten years ago, the thought of Chris playing golf once in a blue-moon and us needing financial assistance for a pool pass would have sent both of us into a downward spiral of despair. I don't even like admitting that attitude...but, like it or not, it's part of our story. I believe that is one of the many reasons the Lord does not allow us to see too far into the future. He knows we could never handle too much information at one time...His gradual approach slowly changes and shapes us into who He wants us to be without sending us into total shock!!

There have been other ways that God has gradually peeled back those layers of wrong priorities, wrong desires and wrong attitudes. Country Clubs, golf, and fancy swim clubs was just a comical example of who we were and what we thought we were entitled to in life. Those things, in and of themselves, were not wrong...they had just taken root in our hearts, and they were feeding our prideful, selfish, and insatiable appetites for "more". God was willing to allow us pain to remove those things that were stealing our appetite for Him. I know He's not finished with us yet...as a matter of fact, He won't be finished until He calls us home to be with Him forever. Until then, we'll just continue to ask Him to take us to that next level, and we'll obediently let go of those things that hinder our relationships with Him. If you are fearful that going to the next level with Him might not be worth the letting go of those things you hold so dear, think again. There is no life more satisfying, more gratifying nor more fulfilling than the one lived in total submission to the Lord. Even as I type this I must pray, "Lord, remind us of this often...help us not choose something else over You because its easier, cheaper or more comfortable. You are All we need." To quote a line from one of Nana and Pop's favorite old songs, "To God be the glory.... for the things He has done!"