Mile 18

Most people wouldn't even care to understand this word picture, but "Mile 18" describes what The Williams all seem to be feeling. When you run a marathon, the first 5 or 6 miles are exhilarating. You've trained for this; you've thought about it for months; and here you are...actually doing it! In miles 6-10 you settle into a groove...the scenery becomes more obvious to you. You can breath easier and take in the joy of knowing you are doing an amazing feat. Miles 10-18 seem to get a little longer and you start showing signs of fatigue...maybe you walk through the water stops or you refuel with some nasty "goo" that feels like you're eating raspberry or strawberry/banana flavored toothpaste. (nice,huh?) At mile 18, you are just plain tired. In your mind, you know that mile 20 has significance...it's called "the wall" and if you could just get through "the wall", then you are practically home-free. At mile 18; however, "the wall" feels like an eternity away. And then you start fighting a battle in your mind when you realize that once you get to "the wall" you still have 6 more miles to go...8 more miles (total) seems impossible. You wonder,"Have I bitten off more than I can chew? What was I thinking? This is ridiculous! The pain far outweighs the victory that is still nowhere in site!" You know that others have gone before you and made it across the finish line without dying from pain or exhaustion, and you know that they say the victory is oh-so-sweet...but you just can't believe all of that at "mile 18."

So how does that compare to our story? Well, the challenges of seminary were, at first, difficult but also exciting. Maybe it was because we expected the challenges, so the difficulties easier to swallow. As time has passed; however, we've grown tired. We've grown tired of the financial stresses of not having enough money to make ends meet. We're tired of having to always tell our kids "no" to the simple things that all kids want. We're tired of knowing we are in a transition period, and this is not a permanent set up. There's always that wondering of "what's next?" We can't help but put down roots where we are, but in the back of our minds, we know the pain that comes with pulling up those roots to move on to somewhere new. The end seems nowhere in sight. A year and a half feels like an eternity. Even when we get through this year...we still have another year to go. We start fighting that same battle in out minds. "Have we bitten off more than we can chew? Did God really call us to this? Why is it so hard?" We know that others have passed through these very waters before, and they are all joyfully living on the other side of the story. They can tell us that "this too shall pass" but it's hard to believe at our "mile 18."

I have to believe that, just as it is true with running a marathon, it is also true in our little journey through seminary as well. The Bible even compares the Christian journey to the life of an athlete competing for a prize. The athlete must be faithful to his training, and he must be willing to push his body to new challenges along the way if he has any desire to ever grow. The athlete gets tired along the way, and he wants to quit. There are days when it just doesn't seem worth the sacrifices of getting up early everyday to hit the gym, drinking only water, eating only healthy foods, etc....Others seem to have it easier. They sleep more , drink more, eat more...no sacrifices, just comforts. But in the back of his mind he knows that, in the end, it will all be worth it when he's holding his prize. The temporary comforts that he is sacrificing are just that, temporary. The internal joy of personal victory, hard work, and accomplishment make it all worthwhile.

So it is with us as believers...not just seminary students, It's true for all children of God. Without trials and challenges driving us closer to God, we would never naturally push ourselves to new levels of intimacy and dependency on Him. There will be obvious sacrifices we will be called to make along the way. Other people may seem to have it easier...but their story is not your story. God calls all of His children to their own story. If He takes us through a challenge, then there is a purpose in it. He may be refining blemishes, strengthening weaknesses, breaking chains of bondage, or developing passions that mirror His own. He's the ultimate trainer. He only has our best interest at heart. God is good all the time...we have to realize that He's been right there beside us all along the marathon journey, and He promises that He will carry us from "Mile 18" to the finish line.

Even as I've been typing this, my spirit has been lifted. I know God is carrying us. I have to remind myself of that truth, because I am tempted to feel alone. I am tempted to think it's not worth it. I am tempted to think I want to jump ship and take the easier path of comfort and pleasure. Then I remember 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." This too will pass, but so will life. I need to slow down; quit focusing on the temporary troubles that seem so heavy; lay my burdens on my Father who desires to carry my load; and run the race that is set before me. The prize will all be worth it at the finish line!!!!